What it's like on a Reality TV Show

Ever since filming for a reality TV show, I've got a whole lot more respect for the Real Housewives and any other reality TV show!  Filming for a TV show is a lot more demanding than I thought it would be.  Honestly, it was like going to a 9-5 job. We showed up at 9 in the morning and didn't finish for the day until 7 or 8 in the evening. I will tell you from my own experience, it's not easy.  If you can believe it, we were filming all day! We had one camera man so we had to repeat most of the scenes.  There were wide shots, close ups, long shots, b-roll footage requirements and more. They were nice enough to feed us lunch and snacks every day, which was always great. When we first signed on to do the show, we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. All we knew was that we wanted to build a tiny house and it would be fun to be a part of HGTV's Tiny House Hunters. And that it was. I can't wait until our episode airs, but unfortunately they haven't told us when yet. So far, all we've got is 'sometime this Spring.'

Our audition process was a bit nerve wrecking for me. We had a short phone interview and then we were invited to do a video interview.  There was some waiting involved before we found out they wanted to move us along the process.  The video interview was with one producer, but it was recorded so that more of the producers could get a chance to see it and weigh in.  I kept wondering what they were thinking and if we were going to make it to the next phase or not.  They mentioned they needed to wait to see if the show was going to be ordered by the network.  They also mentioned that there were owners of the show that made decisions as well.  It turns out, TV is ran like any other business.  There's not much difference when it comes to budgeting and decision making.  There are employees, contractors, owners, and investors.  It's all based on what is profitable or marketable and what is not. You can't blame them I guess.  Everyone out here is trying to make a dollar.

When we found out we made it through the audition process we were ecstatic.  I've got to hand it to the producers, handling scheduling and locations for each episode is a huge ordeal. To cut down on costs they try to hire as many local contractors as they can. There's the camera men, the sound guys, and the assistant producers. We had the most amazing crew. They were super patient with us, professional, and a lot of fun to be around.

That's Rob and I and Chaz, our sound guy. We're waiting to go view a tiny house. We viewed 3 of them overall. Although, we were on set all day there was a lot of downtime waiting on the crew to  shift things around on set for the next scene. I was listening to meditation music to calm my nerves.  Not sure what Rob is doing! Stay tuned for my next post reality TV post...

I'm Calling for a Revolution

I found out recently that our show at Beans Cafe in Houston has been cancelled.  Although guests and patrons usually come out specifically to hear performers share their passion at Beans, our friend and owner of the coffee shop had to make the difficult decision to stop presenting live music.  I know for a fact people really enjoyed live music there because every time I played there people came out to listen and I received a lot of great feedback from patrons there who are now supporting me.  So why has this happened?  Why shut live music down?

I have had a similar experience with another coffee shop halfway across the country and have heard countless other stories about venues just shutting down live music abruptly.  It is happening all over, not just at Beans. The reason might surprise you.

The music industry itself is to blame.  This is how it works.  There are laws in place to protect the rights of songwriters so that they will be compensated every time one of their songs is played whether live or from a recording.  Venues who showcase live music must pay annual dues to organizations who then pay royalties to those who own copyrights to the songs.  In order to enforce this, we’ve got the live performance police who stalk venues’ Facebook pages and ‘secret shop’ their establishments to see if they are showcasing any music that has been logged in their catalogues.  If they find a venue who presents live cover music and has not paid up, the venue owner will be charged hefty fines.  So venues are faced with the choice of paying annual fees or not showcasing music at all to avoid the harassment.  Some venues just can’t afford to pay up and opt to shut down live music all together.  That’s what Beans Cafe has done and so many other venues.  I totally understand the dilemma.  But where do we go from here?

Wherever live music is shut down, the people in that area lose out on a place to congregate and enjoy live music.  Ultimately, the community pays the price.  But it doesn’t have to be this way.  For starters, music and art can not be contained and should not be controlled by people who just want to monetize it for dishonest gain.  I don’t have time to go into how the music industry system actually works.  But I will say that record companies were created in order to capitalize off of musicians. So this whole ‘we have to compensate our artists and songwriters’ business is a farce.  What they really want to do is pay themselves. The music industry is corrupt in so many awful ways. You would be sick to your stomach if you really knew how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Music serves a much larger purpose than this.  It edifies the soul.  We can’t let it be stolen from our communities.  Rebels, I’m calling for a revolution. Let’s take back control. If you love live music, you have the power to bring it to your community. You don’t have to rely on venues to sponsor it.  YOU can sponsor it in your living rooms, in your basements, backyards, in your community centers, in the empty lot next door, in your churches, in private clubs.  They can not control what we do in our private spaces.

I will come! I know countless other artists who will come do music with you if you create a space for it.  What would this look like?  It’s simple really.  All you have to do is invite your closest friends, neighbors, and family over for a get together.  Invite an artist to do a couple sets and voila. You brought live music to your community! What’s more, you don’t have to pay performance fees yourself.  The community can do this together by asking each guest to bring a small donation for the artist and let the artist sell their merchandise.

This is what being a conscious rebel is about.  You create a lifestyle for yourself where you are not relying on a corrupt system that seeks to control and squeeze money from you. You have the power to take back control.  If you are interested in hosting a community music show, please get in touch with me.  I live in Houston but I love traveling!  Contact me (info@anitrajay.com).

We're Building a Tiny House

Have you seen the TV shows where they feature people building and living in those houses that seem way too tiny?  They're always looking for ways to save space and you wonder how they are able to fit a family of 4 comfortably in that small of a house, if that's what they want to call it?  Yea, we're building one of those!

We were first introduced to the Tiny House idea after reading about a family who closed down their restaurant during the downturn of the economy. They decided to sell their house and opt to build a smaller house on a trailer.  They moved to a farm in Virginia and I believe they started homesteading.  They were able to live off of the land with very low living costs. Even though they experienced financial difficulties with the failure of the restaurant, they figured out a way to make it work for them. I thought, what a novel idea, but didn't really consider doing something like that myself until we decided to do music full time!

When I started getting opportunities to travel more, I asked Rob what he thought about quitting his job and going on the road with me. I was afraid he would laugh me up and down, but he actually considered it.  However, the issue of money and how we would pay our bills quickly came up...Naturally.  We had a four bedroom, two-story, 3 car garage, house with a semi wrap around porch. Needless to say, that house was not about to let us quit a job and become full-time musicians.  So we decided to get rid of it.  We put it on the market and it sold within a month.  So now we were homeless and full time musicians.  I know this sounds like a sob story and a bit reckless, but we had a plan.

We got involved in a great opportunity to host events in an apartment community in Nashville in exchange for pretty cheap rent.  It was a sweet deal and the best part about it was that we were in Nashville, Music City capital of the US!  We took full advantage of that, playing in Nashville venues and meeting excellent musicians along the way.  During this time, we found ourselves thinking more about that couple in Virginia and their Tiny House.  If we did what they did, we could reduce our living costs even more and enjoy a life without being responsible for an 8-5 or a mortgage.  We could live wherever we wanted, travel wherever we wanted, work wherever we wanted with less financial strain.  That idea was extremely attractive for us.  So we started our own Tiny House journey and have not once looked back.

We started our build in Memphis, TN.  We lived in a camper in our friend's backyard for four months while we worked on the build.  It was a lot of fun and we learned a heck of a lot about construction, electricity, plumbing, and working together.

We got it to a point where we could take it on the road and we set the house on a path to Houston. We moved to Houston to be close to Rob's family.  He hasn't been home since he first went away to college.  It's been a long long time.  With our new lifestyle, it seemed like the perfect time to move.  Our Tiny's first road trip was successful.  It traveled for 24 hours at a very slow pace and eventually made it to it's semi-permanent destination.

We are still working on the interior of the house.  We still need to complete the kitchen, flooring, trim, and stairs.  But the house is livable.  We have lofts, running water, electricity, and a fully functioning bathroom.  It's been quite the journey!

All in all, I'd say the hardest part has been the mental and emotional side of things.  Some of my close family members have had a really hard time accepting our lifestyle changes to the point where we are no longer welcome in their house.  I find it completely absurd, but some people get defensive and very angry about what we are doing.  This one person in particular thinks that we are backtracking and undoing what those before us have worked so hard to do.  We both have college degrees and the potential to have sustainable lucrative careers, but we've opted to reject the concept of corporate America and live a more humble lifestyle.  They have decided that they don't want to be in a relationship with us and it's been extremely hurtful. These relationships are still in disrepair at this time, but my hope is that they will eventually come around.

When we first embarked on this journey, I didn't consider that I would have to defend why I've made these choices for my own self and that some would have such a hostile reaction to it.  Take Steve Harvey for example.  He thinks that folks living in tiny houses have lost their faith and don't want to dream for a better future.  I'm not going to link to his rant here, but you should be able to find it with a quick internet search.  I am disgusted by people who fail to realize that one person's dream is another person's nightmare.  Everyone has different goals and ambitions in life. If a person wants to live their life one way, who are we to judge and say they shouldn't? We have run into many people who take this approach including family members.  And my fear is that some of them might never understand.

All I can do is just live my life, do me, and let the chips fall where they may.  I'm happy with our decisions and I am not looking back. Our motto on this journey has been to make life good. This means you can either have freedom, joy, and peace or despair, misery, and chaos by the choices you make.  At the end of the day you have to live with yourself inspite of what others say or think about you.  So why not make yourself happy?

The Next Chapter

As I write this blog entry from Houston, I'm jumping with excitement to start this next chapter of my life.  I have been on this music journey for several years now.  It has taken me from being based in Memphis, to Charlotte, to Nashville, and now I'm coming full circle back to Memphis for a time! Nashville is very interesting. I'm really glad we moved there and the short time we spent there helped to clarify a few things for me. I am now more convinced than ever that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Based on the response I got from performing out in Nashville, I feel confident saying that what I have to offer is good music. The people in Nashville are mostly musicians themselves and if you can make a good impression there, you have as good a chance at making a good impression anywhere.  I'm taking that back to Memphis for the time being, where my family and friends are and where I have a great support system.

I'm not sure how long we will be in Memphis! We are currently staying with some friends until we have something more permanent.  I know we'll be in Memphis for at least 6 months, but it could be as long as a year.

Meanwhile we are in Houston visiting Rob's family and friends. We also went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras and we went on a cruise after that.  Our idea was to take about a month off before we get settled into Memphis.

Here is a picture of me in New Orleans. We were on our way to a parade and this quote stopped me in my tracks.

There are so many things going on in this world right now but the rich just keep getting richer. I'm starting to awaken to the reality of what lies under the surface. Things are not always what they seem, and once you start to question them, you finally start getting answers. It is both scary and empowering. We have to open our minds and think critically about everything- politics, government, medicine, and everything else even the music industry. The truth is out there. You just have to look for it.

Greetings from Texas!

Greetings from Texas!  We are at the Dominican Joe Coffee shop in Austin.  It's our day off after 5 days straight of back to back shows starting in Houston. Magical.  That's the one word Rob would use to describe our experience officially performing for the first time in Houston.  His friends and family came out and the night was truly magical.  Being a native of Houston, Rob has always wanted to perform in Houston to share what we do with his hometown.  This has been 7 years in the making and it all culminated at Bean's Cafe on Eldridge in Houston.

The house was packed even before we started the show.  We thought people would begin to leave as we started playing.  Ironically, it happens that way sometimes.  But as we started, more and more people walked in.   Bean's Cafe is an eclectic-bohemian type of venue.  We performed under a lit umbrella with colorful curtains as our backdrop.  I grabbed the audience right away with my improvisational "Cell Phone" song.  Everyone in the room became really quick friends and the magic happened when we all went around the room saying names and other tidbits which made up the material for my improvisational songs.

Rob's family and friends were absolutely amazed and very proud of us for putting on such a great show.  They finally got the chance to see what we've been doing for a living all these years.  We tried to explain it to them in theory, but there's nothing like seeing it in person.  Live music comes to life in so many ways.  The sheer essence of it reminds you why you are alive.  Being able to share that part with friends and family is such a huge honor.

After, our show at Bean's, we moved on to a quaint coffee shop in Galveston - Mod Coffeehouse.  We performed on the patio outside right in the middle of downtown.  This show was very interesting.  First of all, I am the sickest ill I have been in years on this entire trip.  I've been high on prescription drugs and pain medication for weeks!  I'm not going to go into detail here, but you can check out my ailments here if you're curious.  So being put outside on the hot patio, was a big problem for me.  The next problem was that I couldn't hear myself sing!  As a singer, you have to be able to hear yourself.  If you can't, you could be singing off key and don't even know it, plus you could wear out your voice.  The city has a sound ordinance.  The decibel reading couldn't go over 70db.  I have no idea what that means, but Rob said it's not that loud.  We were constantly fidgeting with the sound and my monitor so that I could hear.  Our contact would come out occasionally with her cell phone to check the decibel reading.  I was amazed to see her raising her thumbs telling us we could get louder!  Oh, the joy.  So we cranked it up and blasted.  Rachel, our contact said they have one neighbor who always complains about the noise.  Always.  So we had to be very careful.  We put on our show, and had a great time.  The people really enjoyed it too.  We did a mix of originals and covers, and people were dancing and singing along. Come to find out, the neighbor that usually complains was sitting in my audience dancing and singing along herself.  She really enjoyed herself.  Rachel said, she has NEVER told a musician to turn it up!  Wow!

Next we went on to Killeen, TX.  A small military town in Texas.  This show is the reason why we are in Texas.  I was contacted by a lovely young lady through my website asking if we could come and perform for the soldiers! We were looking for a reason to come to Texas, so we planned a little tour around it.  The Tyku Wine Bar and Lounge is the place.  It's a brand new venue in downtown Killeen.  I'd say this was one of my favorite shows on the trip so far.  Being as sick as I am, I sat down on a stool the whole time and wore my sun shades (lights trigger monster headaches).  I felt like Macy Gray!  I actually did one of her songs as homage too.  This was another packed show.  The room was full of people just wanting to have a good time.  It was jazzy, mellow, and incredible.  It was like an old-school speakeasy event.

Next we headed on to Austin!  We did a show in downtown Austin at an awesome bar called - Lucky Lounge.  The stage was excellent with a huge asian looking drum as a backdrop.  I've never performed at any place quite like this before.  The bar was pretty big, but we only had about 5 people there!  We had an early show and this was our first time playing in Austin.  But the folks that were there enjoyed it.  They tipped and bought merchandise.  This is another show where I had to sit down and wear shades inside due to me feeling like slop putty!  I was literally seconds away from vomiting nearly half the time while on stage.  I honestly don't know where I got my strength from.  I could barely sit in the seat much less put on an energetic show.  If people knew how sick I actually was, they'd be amazed.  Our bodies are so incredible!  The trauma we go through and sometimes even put ourselves through and live to tell it is a testament to just how miraculous our bodies are.  I know not everyone believes in God, but for me our bodies is a constant reminder that there is a God.

One of the things I'm learning on this trip is to love life.  Oh how precious it is just to be alive.  Being so sick has forced me to slow down and appreciate just being able to breathe clearly.  Being able to enjoy the taste of food in my mouth.  Being able to feel the wind on my skin.  The way someone's skin feels when they touch you.  The sparks and vibes you get from other people, whether good or bad.  Only people who are alive can feel these things.  The truly SAD part is, we have grown numb to these things because of the weight and daily distractions of life.  These things I have taken for granted. We all have.

Last night was the fifth night in a row we performed.  I don't have any pictures unfortunately from the evening but we performed outside again on a patio in San Antonio at a really neat local pizza joint called Fralo's.  They had a beer tap coming out of an old-school truck.  I have never seen anything like it in my life!  It was the coolest thing.  Too bad I couldn't partake in it.  I'm having to stay away from 'dranking' unfortunately!  We did two hours of down-home soul!

We have one more show left on this trip and then the tour is over.  Our last show is in Amarillo at 806!  I can't believe how fast this time has passed by!  Our Texas trip has come and it's on its way out, but the lessons I have learned and the faces I have met, I will never forget.

Peace out!