Living Life in Your True Purpose - #NoRegrets

The #1 most common regret people express on their deathbed is as follows…

“I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Notice, it’s not about money, jobs, houses, land, fame, or fortune. It’s about living life based on your own values and what you want for yourself. Wow! How many of us are living a life based on someone else’s plan or ideologies? This is a sad, sad way of existing and if anyone reading this feels trapped in a place of obligation, or what you feel someone else wants, please take heed to this message...

You can design your life however you want.

Periodt! (I added the ‘t’ for emphasis). Your life does not have to be what someone else wants for you. Guys, we have so much pressure on us to live according to certain standards. Believe me, I know. When Rob and I endeavored to build a tiny house and live a minimalist lifestyle we were met with all kinds of opposition even from unlikely sources. After almost 3 years, my truth is - it’s the best decision we ever made for ourselves! And I’m so glad I didn’t listen to the opposition. But even if we had failed, it’s still our lives and we have the right to pick our path whether it fails or not. At least we wouldn’t have to deal with the regrets or the what ifs.

We can’t force ourselves to live to someone else’s standards and values. That would be an injustice to our own-selves. You’ll be relegated to a life of misery and regret if you do. That’s why knowing your own values and remaining true to your ideals will create positive change in your life, attract the right things or people to you, and help you be resolved in what your life amounts to.

If you want peace for yourself, you must realize what your values are, intentionally stay true to them, and commit to living a life of purpose.

So let’s talk about your values.

What is a value? A value is a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.

Did you catch that? A value is your own judgement of what’s important in life - not somebody else’s. If you live your entire life not defining your own values, you’ll never be fulfilled and never truly feel like you’re living your purpose. Have you had a chance to define your values? If not, here is your chance. If you pass on this exercise without having your own set of values, you only have yourself to blame. Ready?

Step 1: Meditation

Sit back, take a deep breath and listen to your breath come in and out of your body. Be present in your own body. Be sure to remove any unwanted feelings or negativity. Let it go. Even if it’s just for a few minutes. You need to give your spirit room to access your deepest desires. This may take a few minutes. As negative things come up acknowledge them and put them out for now. Keep doing this for every single negative thing. You may need to breathe deeper for raw emotions and pain. Practice letting it all go. It may take several minutes. As you go through this process all the way to the end, you’ll end up with only positive thoughts and feelings. This is your center. Now, call up moments in your life where you felt fulfilled, or completely satisfied, or you felt an overwhelming sense of purpose. There may be a few. This also works the other way around too. If you call up times where you felt out of socket, you were frustrated, or misaligned, you’ll be able to point out your values that way too.

For me, I have noticed that time is a big deal to me. I feel all of the good things mentioned above when I spend quality time with friends and loved ones, taking time in scriptures, and also when I spend quality time with myself. I also get a sense of fulfillment when I show up somewhere on time! Consequently, I’m a wreck when I don’t have these things. So TIME is a personal value of mine.

Step 2: Writing

Write down all of these moments and ask yourself what is it about these particular moments that make you feel proud, satisfied or fulfilled. This is where you will find your values. Your values are hidden deep in your experiences. If you can’t call up any experiences, get a journal and start jotting down future experiences. There’s no time limit on this exercise. It may take you a while to complete this because you’re learning about yourself. This is something we rarely take the time to do. Get comfortable writing out your feelings. You’ll soon realize more about yourself than you ever have before.

Here are some sample core values…

  • Dependability 

  • Reliability 

  • Loyalty 

  • Commitment 

  • Open-mindedness 

  • Consistency 

  • Honesty 

  • Efficiency 

  • Innovation 

  • Creativity 

  • Good humor 

  • Compassion 

  • Spirit of adventure 

  • Motivation 

  • Positivity 

  • Optimism 

  • Passion 

  • Respect 

  • Fitness 

  • Courage 

  • Education 

  • Perseverance 

  • Patriotism 

  • Service to others 

  • Environmentalism

Step 3: Mapping

Once you’ve extracted a handful of your own values from personal experiences and encounters, create a map of your core values and describe their meaning to you and how they will show up in your life. Use this worksheet, to make your values map.

That’s it! Everything you do from this point forward should be in alignment with your own values. If it doesn’t fit, don’t do it, even if it means disappointing someone. Your obligation is to yourself. When you wake up every morning, the only person you have to answer to is the one looking back at you in the mirror.

Anitra JayComment